Stupid Tour, Stupid Gum
by metalheadrailfan
Summary: Helga could think of a million things she'd rather be doing than be stuck on lame tour of a candy factory. But then again, this was no ordinary factory. / Willy Wonka AU. Oneshot. 7/30/19: Now with alternate ending.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Well, this is something I thought I would never write. I've had this AU in my back pocket for a number of years because I am moderate fan of **Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory** and I felt a number of Hey Arnold characters just fit into the roles of those characters perfectly. I have to admit I was extremely nervous to do anything with it because the internet is a dark and scary place sometimes when it comes to the scene this oneshot is based upon and we'll just leave it at that. I have to thank my dear friend **CallMeNettie** for encouraging me to get this story out.

As for the AU itself so no one gets lost, everything within the Hey Arnold canon is pretty much the same, except the episodes **"Buses, Bikes and Subways"** and **"Monkeyman"** do not happen, with Monkeyman himself rewritten to portray Willy Wonka. Besides the suit that he wears in his episode being very reminiscent of the 1971 Wonka, I see his overall character as a mix of both the Gene Wilder and Johnny Deep Wonkas. He has the mentality of a kid trapped in a grown up's body, but also has a demeanor that always keeps you guessing and on the edge a bit. For this oneshot, I instead elected to have it center on Helga (in the role of Violet Beauregarde) instead of having a full blown thing practically copying the book and movie. A oneshot would allow to keep more grounded in the Hey Arnold canon. This takes place 2 years after TJM.

Character roles:  
Helga - Violet Beauregarde  
Arnold - Charlie Bucket  
Monkeyman - Willy Wonka  
Rhonda - Veruca Salt  
Sid - Mike Teevee  
Harold - Augustus Gloop

With that said, enjoy!

* * *

**Stupid Tour, Stupid Gum**

_Yahoo! Candy Factory, Hillwood, WA, 2019_

Helga didn't want to be there. She really didn't. She'd rather be home gearing up for an awesome Wrestlemania match that evening. But no, here she was on a stupid boat on a stupid chocolate river on a stupid tour of a stupid candy factory hosted by a man in a purple suit and top hat, who by her standards, seemed to live up to his last name. The world knew him as Marvin Yahoo, founder and owner of the legendary Yahoo! brand of candies and soft drinks.

About 2 months ago, The Yahoo company announced a contest where they had hidden 5 golden tickets in 5 random chocolate bars, with the receivers winning a tour of the factory and lifetime supply of chocolate. This was big news as no one had seen or heard from the legendary candy maker in years. His factory mysteriously shut down 6 years ago, most likely in fear of his competitors sending in spies to steal his recipes, but suddenly 3 years later, it started working once again, but the gates remained locked. This created many a urban legend on what Mr. Yahoo has been doing this whole time and who are what is actually working for him. Soon the entire world it seemed had gone crazy in search of these tickets. Helga, though, couldn't cared less. It didn't even phase her when not ever 2 days after the contest was announced, Harold had found the very first one after buying and eating half his own body weight in chocolate. A few days later, Rhonda had found hers. And by found, she had her father have an entire packaging plant tear open boxes upon boxes of chocolate bars until one of the workers found one.

_'Figures she would have her dear Daddy find it for her'_, she thought sarcastically.

About 2 weeks had gone by and no one had yet to find the third ticket. By this time, the local candy stores weren't as crowded as it began to see that Yahoomania, as the media called it, began to wind down a bit. Having the hankering for a candy bar, Helga figured it wouldn't do any harm in just having one.

"What are the chances of me getting one of those stupid tickets, right?" she said to herself. But no sooner had she tore open the first corner of the bar, she suddenly felt that life just loved to mess with her. "Criminy!" she said dreadfully aloud, "you've got to be kidding me!"

After that, everything just began to snowball all at once. Media outlets from every corner of the globe descended upon her house and the Beeper Emporium, all wanting to get interviews and pictures of the tickets. Helga just sat there and sulked as Bob did most of the talking. Ironically, though, he was just using it all as free advertising for the Emporium. He didn't even care that Helga had won something as currently hot as a golden ticket. Olga on the other hand felt delighted that Helga was able to find a ticket and just as it seemed it couldn't get any worse, she offered to go with her to the factory as, or as she put it, "Mummy and Daddy will be busy with the customers."

As the days wore on, Helga was dreading the date of the tour. It was bad enough she had to deal with Pink Boy and Princess, and now Sid, during school, but now on a perfectly good Saturday where she could just laze around and wait for the wresting match to start.

There was one bright spot though. Not long after Sid had found the fourth ticket, she had learned that her beloved and boyfriend for 2 years, Arnold had found the last one. If she was going to be stuck there, having Arnold there would make it at least tolerable. Surprisingly, Arnold didn't care if he found one or not either. When he found it, his reaction was, "Well, I guess I'm going." Not that he was complaining, as he could keep Helga company.

While it was a quite a surprise that all the tickets had been found within the city of Hillwood, many claimed it couldn't be a coincidence as the factory was located not far from the city and the fact of how it was unfair to have the contest spread across the globe. But no one could supply any strong evidence.

The day of the tour at last arrived and as they wait outside the gates, there was a feeling of expecting the unexpected among the crowd, which only added to the excitement. Among those that were to go in, were Arnold and his grandpa, Harold and his mom, Rhonda and her dad, Sid and his dad, and finally, her and Olga. She stood there in the cool Autumn morning, dressed in an outfit specifically chosen but Olga, consisting of a blue button up dress shirt and blue dress pants, complete with a red waist belt. She hated it of course, but that thought quickly changed once Arnold complimented on how nice she looked in it. When Mr. Yahoo finally stepped out the main entrance, he gave off the impression that he was a grouchy middle-aged man as he limped his way to the gate with his cane, only to catch everyone completely off guard with a somersault. That at least gave Helga an impressed chuckle.

Once inside the plant, everyone was taken aback how welcoming and whimsical everything was, as opposed to dull looking factory floor. Much like how he was outside, Mr. Yahoo gave off the demeanor of not knowing what to expect, especially as they made their way to chocolate room via a series of odd and confusing passageways, making it feel more like a funhouse at a carnival. Once inside, everyone's eyes went wide with wonder, even Helga's, as they found themselves in large room with bright green field with large candies growing out of the ground and from tree branches. A huge waterfall completed the scene and to which that Mr. Yahoo explained is what actually churns his chocolate.

"Please, enjoy yourselves," he said, "almost everything in here is eatable!"

Soon, they were scattered all across the room, enjoying the delicious treats. Except for Rhonda, who was taking selfies next to the candy for her social media following, rather than "ruin her custom tailored red dress."

As they were having fan, they noticed a group of small men working across the over, who all had dark green hair and were orange from head to toe. Mr. Yahoo explained that they were his new workers, called Oompa Loompas, who now lived in the factory in safety from their hostile country of Loompaland. Helga at first thought he had completely made that up, but after seeing what she experienced in San Lorenzo, she thought anything was real at this point.

Attention was soon shifted to Harold who was going to town on eating chocolate out of the river. Despite Mr. Yahoo's pleas to stop, Harold just kept eating. But he soon lost his balance and fell straight in.

_'Sheesh. What a baffoon'_, Helga thought as Harold struggled to swim the thick chocolate.

Arnold and Sid made an attempt to pull him out, but they were too late as a nearby draft pipe got hold of him and sucked him up the spout, only to get wedged stuck half way up. Mr. Yahoo seemed to pay no attention to Mrs. Berman's panic cries to save her son, as he and everyone else watched in suspense as the pressure from the chocolate from underneath Harold just kept building and building until it forced him up all the way though. With that, Mr. Yahoo instructed a nearby Oompa Loompa to take Mrs. Berman to the Fudge Room in search of Harold from the mixing machine. Helga's laughing at Harold's misfortune was short lived as the Oompa Loompa began to sing, much to her annoyance.

With that matter done, Mr. Yahoo invited everyone on board his one of a kind boat to take them to other end of the plant. Arnold offered her a seat next to him, to which she gladly accepted. This earned a playful wink from Mr. Yahoo, which caused them to blush as red as a lollipop. The boat then neared a tunnel and Mr. Yahoo's demeanor turned slightly sinister as they entered and everyone began to feel uneasy as it suddenly began to show strange and surreal imagery. As it went on, everyone began to scream in terror as the imagery began to turn more dark and gruesome. All except Arnold and Phil, who were having a blast. Even Helga was enjoying the thrill.

_'This could give the coasters at Dinoland a run for their money'_, she thought.

The ride coming to an end was where she found herself now.

"Daddy, I do not want a boat like this!" Rhonda stammered as she and everyone else scrammbled off.

"Say no more, Pumpkin," said her father Buckely, wearily.

"What's the matter, Rhonda?" Helga smirked, "not much of a thrill seeker, are you?"

Rhonda said nothing and shot her an angry glare. Arnold couldn't help give a chuckle at that.

"You gotta admit", he said, "that was pretty fun. Don't think I didn't see you smile during it."

"You are such a cornball, Football Head," Helga laughed and gave him a light, playful shove.

"Alright then, is everyone ashore?" asked Mr. Yahoo, gaining everyone's attention, "Good. Shall we continue onwards?"

He lead the group to a large steel door, which in bright red letters read 'Inventing Room'.

"Now beyond these doors," Mr. Yahoo explained, "is where all of my latest candy and soft drink ideas are made and tested. I ask you, please, do not touch a thing. Now, in we go!"

Inside was a cacophony of sounds as various machines made and processed all sorts of new candies that may or may not see store shelves. Everyone was free to walk around, observing each machine and lab table as the Oompa Loompas working each gladly demonstrated their progress. Helga once again started to grow bored and kept checking her watch every few seconds it seemed, in hopes of trying to make this day go by faster.

"Come on, Helga," Arnold said, "you have to admit this stuff is pretty cool to see."

"Yeah, whatever, Arnold," she yawned, "at least right now I can get away from Olga for a minute and be with you."

"Now who's a cornball?" he teased, earning yet another playful shove. Their moment was interrupted when Mr. Yahoo walked up.

"Enjoying yourselves?" he asked. "As much as we can," Arnold smiled, as Helga said nothing.

"Glad to hear it," replied Mr. Yahoo, as he grabbed a clock that was sitting on a lab table, "you know as they say, 'Time is a precious thing, never waste it.'

And with that he threw the clock into a near by cooking tub and made his way to the next table.

"Oooookay, then," Helga said.

"He's absolutely nuts," Rhonda said, having seen it herself.

"C'mon guys, give the guy some credit," Arnold said, "sure he maybe a little eccentric, but aren't we all in some way."

"Yeah, but not to that level," Helga.

Suddenly, a loud 'BANG' was heard across the room. They turned to see Sid flying a good few feet backwards before landing with a thud.

"Sid?! Are you all right?" his dad, Ray shouted.

"I told you not to, silly boy," Mr. Yahoo said with mild annoyance.

"Let me see your teeth," Ray said.

"Boy Howdy, that's some pretty great stuff," Sid said, not even hurt.

"That's Exploding Candy, perfect for your enemies," Mr. Yahoo explained, "still needs a few tests though. Explosion is a little too weak."

He made his way over to a tub that was currently cooking up something that no one could quite make out. He dipped his finger in it to taste it and to everyone's bewilderment, placed a bowling shoe in the mix.

"What's that for?" Buckley asked in confusion.

"Gives it a little kick," Mr. Yahoo answered.

Buckely just shook his head, but then something else caught his eye.

"Yahoo," he called and whispered in his ear, "Butterscotch, Buttergin? Is there something going on inside of here?"

"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker, my friend," Mr. Yahoo chuckled and made his way over to another tub. He was just about to test it when he noticed Olga nearing a machine covered in sheets lettered 'Top Secret'.

"Stop!" he shouted, startling her, "forgive me, but no one must look under there. This is the most top secret machine in my entire factory and it makes a candy that could revolutionize the industry. I could tell you what it makes, but I would rather not spoil the reveal for anyone before I officially announce it. It still needs a few more tweeks before it's ready for unveiling. I can, however, show you this."

He guided the group over to a large machine that had several mechanical cookers and pans filled with various ingredients ranging from tomatoes to syrup.

"Right over here, I want to show you something very special" he said.

"It sure is special alright," Buckley said, but then whispered to Olga, "I just hope my Rhonda doesn't want one."

"What a contraption," said Sid.

"Isn't she something?" Mr. Yahoo said admiringly, "she's my revolutionary and environmentally friendly mechanical wonder. Now, where it's that button. I always tend to forget where it's at."

"It's right here," Arnold pointed out.

"Ah, thank you. I should remember to write a note for that."

In an instant, the machine roared to life and noise spluttered from all around as it cooked, sliced and mashed the ingredients.

"What you are witnessing my friends," Mr. Yahoo went on, "is a confectionery revolution in the modern world."

With a 'Ding', the machine stopped and out it dispensed a single, tiny piece of candy. "

And Tada!" he exclaimed in delight.

"That's it?" Rhonda asked.

"That's it?" Mr. Yahoo said, "do you know what this is?"

"It looks like a little stick of gum to me," said Helga, unimpressed.

"Technically, you are correct, Helga," explained Mr. Yahoo, "but this is not ordinary gum. Within this gum contains a three course dinner!"

"Bull," scoffed Buckley.

"No, roast beef," said Mr. Yahoo, "this gum will change the way people eat. If you can't afford a week of groceries for a large dinner, just have the gum. If you're in a hurry and haven't eaten all day, the gum will surely cover that. Even if you're excellent or terrible at cooking, this gum will help greatly."

For the first time that entire day, Helga was genuinely curious. Having spent most of childhood with Miriam forgetting to pack her lunch, despite her mom doing a much better job since returning from San Lorenzo, having this gum with her as a backup was something she could get behind.

"Okay, this I have to try," she said and snatched the gum from the tray.

"Young lady, I wouldn't do that," Mr. Yahoo warned, "I still need to run some more tests on it. It's a bit unstable still."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Helga replied. In her mind, she figured no one listened to her about not wanting to come to factory as a publicity tool for the Beeper Emporium or the fact no one except Arnold ever really listened to her at all for most of her life.

"Helga, baby sister," Olga cautioned, "I would listen to Mr. Yahoo."

"Criminy, it's just a stick of gum," Helga scoffed and plopped the gum in her mouth, "what's the worst that could happen."

"Stop. Don't. Wait." said Mr. Yahoo, who by now had clearly given up in trying to warn her. Arnold noticed this and gave his grandpa a worried look.

"Don't look at me, Short Man," Phil shrugged, "she's your girlfriend, not mine."

"I know," Arnold said, "but I can't really stop her, even if I tried. I mean, like she said, what could happen?"

_'Famous last words. This should be interesting. Never tried it with a human before,'_ Mr. Yahoo thought as everyone gathered around Helga, who was slowly chewing his experiment.

"How's it taste?" asked Sid.

"Pretty good, actually," Helga said, as she started the first course, "it tastes like actual tomato soup. The second course is starting now. You were right, Mr. Yahoo, it's roast beef with a baked potato. Haven't had something like that in a while."

"I appreciate the feedback," Mr. Yahoo sighed, "but, I beg you, please spit out the gum before you…"

"Oh wow, blueberry pie and ice cream," Helga said, "this is probably the best pie I've ever tasted, and I'm not really that big on pies."

"...the desert."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Arnold.

"Just watch."

Arnold turned and was shocked to see a small blue spot on Helga's nose that slowly spread across her face. Everyone else's faces of curiosity and wonder were suddenly wiped clean off as they stared at the spot growing larger and larger.

"Um…Helga," Arnold said, "your face is…"

"What about it, Football Head," asked Helga, not clearly aware of what was happening.

"Your face is turning blue," Arnold said nervously.

"Football Head, did you hit your head on something?" scoffed Helga at such a ridiculous notion.

"He's right, Baby Sister!" Olga said in alarm, "your whole face has gone blue! Even your hands! Look!"

Helga looked down and watched in shock as her hands were suddenly engulfed in a dark shade of blue.

"What the heck is this?!" Helga shouted.

"Oh, I have to get this," Rhonda said and whipped out her phone to start filming.

"I told you it still needed more testing," said Mr. Yahoo signed, "but you didn't listen. The gum has a side effect that, well, you'll feel it here in a second."

"Feel what?" Helga asked, when she suddenly felt her abdomen start to slowly bulge outward.

"What in the world?!" she shouted again, getting more frantic.

"What's happening to her?!" screamed Olga, who was on the verge of tears.

"It's the side effect," explained Mr. Yahoo, "It's the excessive amounts of juices of the desert course. I've tried this with at least 20 Oompa Loompas and the results all wound up with each becoming a blueberry."

"A what?!" Helga shouted.

"Whatever it is, we have to get it out of her, she might explode!" Olga cried.

"It's completely harmless really. At most, she'll just swell up. No one has exploded yet. At least I hope not."

"Gee, that's really reassuring," Helga muttered. As the swelling continued, she began to feel her waist belt feel tighter by the second. "Too t-tight, t-too tight," she groaned in pain.

"I'll get it Helga!" Arnold said and got it off as quickly as he could before it could fully snap off. But with the belt no longer there to constrain the swelling, it began to pick up pace.

"This is going to Youtube later," Rhonda whispered to Sid.

"I heard that!" Helga snapped, "you better delete that or I'll…!"

"Do what?" Rhonda smirked, "roll me over?"

"If this stops at a reasonable point, that can be arranged!"

She made an attempt to walk over to Rhonda and snatch her phone, but the faster pace of the side effect made it impossible for her move. All anyone could do was watch in wide-eyed amazement as Helga grew rounder and rounder. At last, it stopped and there she stood, perfectly as round and as blue as an actual blueberry. Only her head, hands and feet remained in tact from her new spherical form.

"Great," was all she could say, "as if this whole thing couldn't get any worse."

"Well that's that I suppose," Mr. Yahoo said and summoned an Oompa Loompa, "Would you roll the young lady down to the juicing room at once, please?"

"The juicing room?" Olga asked, "What are they going to do to her there?!"

"Squeeze her, of course. It's the only way to get the stuff out of her. I promise, it's completely safe, she'll out in jiff."

"I can't have a blueberry for a baby sister!" wailed Olga, "what will Mummy and Daddy say?! This is terrible!"

"Olga, will you stop being such a crybaby?" Helga groaned, but no one paid her any attention, except for the Oompa-Loopmas who had gathered around her.

"Oh no," she moaned, "please don't start…"

"Oompa-Loompa, doompety dooI've got another puzzle for you…"

"...singing."

"She's never gonna live this one down," Sid laughed, as Rhonda had finished filming what she needed.

"Guys, this isn't funny," Arnold glared, not impressed with their behavior towards the situation.

For Helga though, the constant noise of crying, laughing and singing from everyone around her and the stress of the last two months were beginning to reach a boiling point. It was only when the Oompa Loomas began to position her to roll her to the juicing room when it finally did.

"CRIMINY! WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP?!" she bellowed. Silence feel upon the entire room and everyone looked at Helga, surprised by her sudden outburst.

"Ever since I found that stupid ticket," she began her rant, "these last 2 months have been driving me insane! It felt like I was the It Girl again! Having little to no privacy from media leaches wasting my time with interviews. 'Helga, where's the ticket?' 'Helga, show us the ticket!' 'Helga, how did you find the ticket?' Then my lame excuse of a dad decides to put me up on pedestal as a gimmick to attract morons to the dinosaur farm of a beeper store and not even giving a me a chance to have a say in the matter. Once again, it's just me making everyone else in the Pataki family look good. I would've much rather watch a Wrestlemania match, spend some time with my football-headed boyfriend and his family, maybe even just chill at the park, but NO! I _didn't_ want to find that ticket, I _didn't_ want to be dragged to this godforsaken factory, I _don't_ want a lifetime supply of chocolate and I certainly _don't_ want to be a _freaking blueberry_!"

She paused to catch her breath. She could feel her eyes start to water up. She hated feeling this vulnerable, especially in front of Arnold, but she just could handle the stress anymore.

"I just want to go home," she said, letting her tears fall.

Arnold walked up to her and gave her a comforting hug as best as he could. Rhonda even felt a tiny bit sympathetic and promptly deleted the video from her phone.

"It's okay, Helga," he soothed, "it's gonna be okay."

"I guess I'm partially to blame for this," Mr. Yahoo said, "I did let the media sensation surrounding this contest get way out of hand. Helga, I offer my sincerest apologies for any stress and uncomforableness all of this has given you."

"Thanks," she sniffed, "and I'm sorry, too, for not listening to you about this. I feel really stupid."

"Apology accepted," Mr. Yahoo smiled, "We all make mistakes. Now then, I'll have my men escort you to juicing room and we'll have you fixed in no time. Afterwards, we'll have you wait in the Hospitality Room and we'll answer your every need. Is that fine with you?"

"Yes, thank you," Helga said, with Arnold wiping away the last of her tears, "let's get this over with. And please, no singing."

The Oompa Loompas nodded as they began to move her.

"Are you sure, you'll be okay?" Arnold concerned.

"I think I will be. Thanks, Arnold," she smiled, "let me know how the rest of this shindig goes, okay?"

Arnold nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before the Oompa Loompas maneuvered her to her side and rolled her down the hallway towards to juicing room.

"Thanks, Arnold," Olga smiled and followed them down the hall.

"Well, now that that's settled," Mr. Yahoo turned to his remaining guest, "if anyone else is still willing to continue the tour, this way please."

Apart from Rhonda taking pictures of everything she saw, not much was said as they made their way to their next destination. Mr. Yahoo decided to help break the tension.

"You know, Arnold," he said, "I think Helga is very lucky to have someone like you who cares that deeply for her as you do. Relationships like that are a rare bread."

"I think we're both lucky in a sense," Arnold said, "Helga maybe be a bit rough around the edges, but she really does have a good heart. She's done so many incredible things over the years that have changed my life in the best possible way."

"Well, we have a little bit before we reach our next part of the tour. Why don't you tell me all about it?"

* * *

Mr. Yahoo was true to his word. Helga was able feel like her normal self again after a trouble free procedure in the juicing room, save for a lighter shade of blue in her skin that still had yet to wear off. So she now sat in a large, comfy chair in the Hospitality Room reading a candy industry magazine, while Olga went the courtyard to phone their parents of what had happened. Across from her, Harold sat in the other chair, still partially covered in chocolate and proceeded to lick whatever he could off.

"Seriously Harold, can you stop that?" Helga said disgusted, "you are such a slob."

"I can't help it, Helga," Harold said, "it tastes so good! Say, what happened to you anyway? How come you're all blue and stuff?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Harold," she said firmly, "so drop it.

"Fine, sorry I asked, Madam Fortress Mommy," he quipped and looked back at his hand, "you know I think I'm gonna go try and wash some of this off. If my mom asks where I'm at, I'll be in the nearest bathroom."

"Will do," Helga said and soon she was left alone for the first time the whole thing began. _'Criminy, what a weird day At least it's almost over and everything will go back to as it was.'_

"Hey there you are," came Arnold's voice, snapping her out of her thoughts, "looks like everything went okay?"

"Yeah, the orange elves said that I feel a little wobbly for a bit, but after that I should be fine."

"What about…?" Arnold asked, pointing to her still blue hand.

"Oh, that. They said color should go away within a week or so. Can't go wrong with a free week off from school right?"

"I guess not," chuckled Arnold.

"So, did I miss anything thing more 'whimsical and majestic?"

"Not really," Arnold shrugged, "expect for Rhonda got attacked by a mob of angry squirrels and they tossed her down the garbage shoot, think she was a bad nut or something. And then Sid messed with this shrink ray/teleport thing, that I honestly still can't grasp what Mr. Yahoo made of it."

"HA!" Helga laughed, "Serves them right for taking that video, even though she did delete it. Speaking of which, please tell you got that."

"One step ahead of you," Arnold grinned and pulled out his phone to show the video. There was Rhonda, swarmed by about 30 squirrels, with one tapping her head as if it were an nut. Thinking it found a hollow one, they all began to carry towards to garbage shoot in the middle of the room, all the while Rhonda screaming in terror.

"That's one for the archives," Helga laughed, "that stays between us, okay?"

"Sure thing," agreed Arnold, "you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I am, Arnold," Helga reassured him, "I did needed that rant thought. That was building for a while."

"Yeah, I don't blame you. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful back there."

"Ah, don't sweat it, Football Head. Nothing you could really do anyways. I was at fault, anyways."

Arnold then leaned over and kissed her on her lips, with the faint scent of blueberries still lingering. Helga, always one to kiss her beloved, gladly obliged.

"So," she asked, "since you're the last man standing, what are you going to do with that lifetime supply of chocolate?"

Arnold rubbed his arm, not sure how he going to answer that.

"Oh, um, yeah," he said, "weird thing about that."

"You mean me turning into a giant blue beach-ball wasn't weird?" Helga smirked.

"Okay, maybe not as weird as that," Arnold chuckled, "But no, as it turns out, the lifetime supply of chocolate is not the real prize."

"Say what? How can it not be the real prize, that's what's been over-hyped this entire time."

"Turns out that's just a cover to keep the media from suspecting anything. The actual prize is…"Arnold paused, trying to make his words out correctly.

"C'mon, Arnoldo, spit it out already," Helga said, "no pun intended."

"The prize is that when Mr. Yahoo either retires or passes away, every asset to the Yahoo company, including the factory, goes to me…and you."

Even with all the strangeness that had occurred throughout the entire day, nothing shocked and surprised Helga more than what she just heard.

"Say WHAT NOW?!"

_**The End**_


	2. Alt Ending

A/N: Recently I had been watching **Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory** again and felt like revisiting this AU for bit and posted a couple of drawings related to it on my deviantart last week (Yes, I know what that site contains related to this movie. We will, again, just leave it at that), one of them just being pure Shortaki fluff and I felt the urge to write this alternate ending to this story based around it. I want to thank **CallMeNettie** for taking the time to proofread this for me.

* * *

Mr. Yahoo was true to his word. The Oompa Loompas rolled Helga to the Juicing Room to fix her condition. But when they arrived, they found that the Oompa Loompas that work in that room forgot to relay word to Mr. Yahoo that the machine that would perform the procedure was down for routine maintenance, which meant she was stuck as a blueberry until it was cleared later that afternoon. So she sat in the Hospitality Room waiting for her turn to be fixed, while Olga was in the courtyard phoning their parents to tell them what had happened. Harold sat across from her in one of the large, comfy chairs, still practically covered in chocolate and proceeded to lick whatever he could off.

"Seriously Harold, can you stop that?" Helga said disgusted, "you are such a slob."

"I can't help it, Helga," Harold said, "it tastes so good! Say what happened to you anyways? You look like Eugene whenever he gets an allergic reaction, but blue."

"I don't want to talk about it, Harold," she said firmly, "so drop it."

"Fine, sorry I asked, Madame Fortress Mommy," he quipped and looked back at his hand, "you know, I think I'm gonna try and wash some of this off. If my mom wonders where I'm at, I'll be in the nearest bathroom."

"Will do," Helga said and soon she was left alone for the first time since the whole thing began. _'Criminy, what a weird day. Just gotta wait a few more hours and I can finally put this nightmare behind me and everything will go back to as it was'._

"Hey, there you are," came Arnold's voice, snapping her out of her thoughts, "Oh, I thought they would've fixed you by now."

"Machine is down for maintenance," she explained, "The orange elves say it'll be done before the day's over and they can make me as good as new before we leave."

"Well, that's good at least."

"So did I miss anything whimsical' and 'majestic'?"

"Not really," Arnold shrugged, "expect Rhonda got attacked by a mob of angry squirrels and they tossed her down the garbage shoot, thinking she was a bad nut or something. And then Sid messed with this shrink ray/teleport thing, that I honestly still can't grasp after what Mr. Yahoo made of it."

"HA!" Helga laughed, "serves them right for that video, even though she deleted it. Speaking of which, please tell me you got that?"

"One step ahead of you," Arnold grinned and pulled out his phone to show the video. There was Rhonda, swarmed by about 30 squirrels, with one tapping on her head as if it were a nut. Thinking it found a hollow one, they all began to carry her over to the garbage shoot in the middle of the room, all the while Rhonda screamed in terror.

"That's one for the archives," Helga laughed, "that stays between us, okay?"

"Sure thing," Arnold agreed, "you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I am, Arnold," Helga reassured him, "I needed that rant though. That was building for a while."

"I don't blame you. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful back there."

"Ah, don't sweat it, Football Head. Nothing you could really do anyways. It was my fault after all."

They sat in silence for a moment, as they both still tried to process the day's events. They had to hand to Mr. Yahoo though, both he and his factory were completely unpredictable, so it wasn't a total bore like they were expecting.

"What do you say we go back to the Chocolate Room," Arnold suggested, "just to get away from everybody and the craziness of this whole thing. That okay with you?"

"Sure, why not," Helga said and Arnold stood and adjusted her to her side and proceeded to roll her down the hallway.

"Well, this is something I'd never thought would happen in our relationship," Arnold chuckled as he pushed.

"And yet here we are," Helga chuckled as well, "just don't roll me too fast. The little orange guys did and I got super dizzy."

"Sure thing," Arnold agreed to her request. When they reached the Chocolate Room, the sounds of the chocolate waterfall made the room feel more tranquil without the all noise and rushing about from earlier. Arnold scanned the room, looking for a good place to relax at when he spotted a tall candy cane like tree with large candies growing from its branches.

"How about over there?" Arnold asked.

"Sounds good to me," Helga said. Arnold gently re-positioned her upright in front of the tree and then sat down in front of her and rested his head against her round body.

"You don't mind I do this, do you?" he asked again.

"No, not at all," she replied, "Thanks for bringing me here. It's a lot quieter here now than with everyone freaking out over Pink Boy getting stuck in that pipe."

"Yeah, no doubt," Arnold said as he picked up a piece of candy that was growing out of the candy grass, "It's a nice place to unwind for a bit. Mr. Yahoo probably comes here a lot after stressful days with work. You want one of these, by the way?"

"Thanks", Helga said, "but given that I'm practically full figuratively and literally, so I'd probably shouldn't."

"Okay then," Arnold said, "this will probably be the only one I'll have anyways."

He then looked up and smiled when he saw Helga wearing love-stricken expression on her face as she smiled back down to him. He then noticed her expression changed to that of a concerned one.

"Some thing on your mind?" he asked.

"Well," she sighed, "this is gonna sound weird. I mean, not any weirder that today's already been, but let's say hypothetically that if I was stuck like this, would you still be with me? Having to roll me around everywhere, having people stare and/or laugh at us as you do, not really being able to do normal couple stuff again…"

Arnold got up and gave her another hug like he had before in the Inventing Room.

"Helga, I'll always be there for you," he assured her, "no matter what. Whether you're you normal self or a blueberry, I will never leave you."

"You're too good me, you know that?"

"Only because you deserve it."

He then leaned in and kissed her on her lips, with the smell of blueberries hitting his senses. Helga, always one to kiss her beloved, gladly obliged. They were so lost in their moment, that they didn't notice two figures walking up behind them.

"I hope we're not interrupting anything," came a humored broke their kiss and looked to see Mr. Yahoo and Arnold's grandpa standing behind them. Behind Mr. Yahoo, Phil gave a teasing wink and an _'ok'_ hand gesture, which earned a deadpan _'Grandpa'_ look from Arnold.

"How did you know we were here?" Helga asked.

"I went to go look for you in the Hospitality Room," Mr. Yahoo explained, "and an Oompa Loompa who had seen you head this way told me."

"Ah. So what what happened to the other chumps?"

"They have all left and have gone home. Speaking of which, I have been informed that the machine in Juicing Room is back up and running so, whenever you're ready to begin the procedure, we can make our way there. But first, Phil would excuse us for a moment? I want to discuss the details of the grand prize. You're welcome to roam around, just stay out of the river."

"Can do," Phil saluted and did an about-face, "catch you later, Hot Lips!"

"GRANDPA!" Arnold shouted, embarrassed.

"Hehe, gotta tease you every once in a while, Short Man," Phil chuckled, "I'm such a wily old coot."

With his grandpa now gone, Arnold and Helga turned to Mr. Yahoo.

"So since Football Head was the last man standing," she asked, "when does he get the lifetime supply chocolate?"

"Actually, the chocolate isn't the real prize," Mr. Yahoo explained.

The two preteens looked at each other in confusion at this revelation.

"Say what?," Helga asked, "how can it not be the real prize? That's what's been over-hyped this whole time."

"Yes, but I only said that to keep the media from suspecting anything. The real prize is that, well, I can't go on forever and I don't want to try. So I set up this contest in order to find an heir worthy enough to pass my factory onto when I'm gone. A honest, kind, loving child who I can tell all of my precious candy making secrets to."

"So, wait a minute," Arnold said, "you mean that I will inherit your entire business when you either retire or pass away?"

"That's right, Arnold," Mr. Yahoo smiled and looked at Helga, "and even though I said I only wanted to find one child worthy enough to leave it to, little did I realize I found two."

Even with all the strangeness that had occurred throughout the entire day, nothing shocked Helga and Arnold more than what they just heard.

"Say WHAT NOW?!"


End file.
